Grief Protocols in Chinese Medicinegrief condolence gift

Grief is a normal response to loss. It can be the loss of a home, family pet, job, business, relationship, marriage or a love one. People also experience grief and have to work through the stages of grief with chronic or severe illness. In Chinese medicine, grief is related to the Metal Element which includes the Lungs, and Large Intestine. One of the main beliefs in Chinese medical theory is that an emotional imbalance can cause physical disease; and, a physical imbalance can cause an emotional imbalance. In and of itself, grief is not a disruptive feeling causing chronic illness unless one gets stuck in one of the stages of grief and cannot work through the grieving process in a timely manner. In rare instances of shock due to a sudden loss, severe injury to both the Heart and the Lung energetic organ systems can occur. For best outcomes using self-care, combine associated Aroma Acu-Sticks® to acu-points, topical remedies, and good lifestyle practices.



adrenal fatigue acupressure points

Aroma Acu-Therapy™ for Grief

water-acupressure essential oils

Kidney 3

Apply the Water Element Aroma Acu-Stick® to activate Acupressure Point KI 3

Why? Acu-point Kidney 3 tonifies Kidney Yin which can be exhausted during prolonged periods of grief leading to deep anguish.

earth-acupressure essential oilsStomach 36

Apply the Earth Element Aroma Acu-Stick® to activate Acupressure Point ST 36

Why? Acu-point Stomach 36 supports immune health that can be weakened with prolonged grief.

metal-acupressure essential oilsLung 9

Apply the Metal Element Aroma Acu-Stick® to activate Acupressure Point LU 9

Why? Acu-point Lung 9 is the Source Point of the Lung energetic organ system which is part of the Metal Element of Chinese medicine which governs over grief.

wood-acupressure essential oilsLiver 3

Apply the Wood Element Aroma Acu-Stick® to activate Acupressure Point LV 3  

Why? Acu-point Liver 3 soothes Liver Qi Congestion demonstrated with angry outbursts due to the unfairness of loss.

fire-acupressure essential oils

Heart 7

Apply the Fire Element Aroma Acu-Stick® to activate Acupressure Point HT 7

Why? Acu-point Heart 7 is the source point for the Heart energetic organ system and calms the Shen-Mind and reinforces Heart Qi.

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Stages of Grief in Relation to Chinese Medicine

Grief is experienced differently by each individual. These are the most common symptoms of grief according to Chinese medicine. By using Chinese medicinal remedies an Aroma Acu-Therapy, one can avoid becoming stuck in a certain stage of grief or free the blockage so the she can move on emotionally.


Fire Element-Shock and Griefcalming essential oils

This is a period just after a loss fraught with confusion. Loss of appetite is common during this stage. Acupressure can lessen the damage to the central nervous system due to shock, and help the progress through this stage of grief. This stage can damage the Heart energetic organ system and Fire Element of Chinese medicine and lead to sleep disturbances and troubling dreams. It is important to calm the Shen during this time.


Metal Element-Denial and Grieflung support herbal remedy

Denial can come soon after the initial shock and eases the transition.  This is often the first level at which people become stuck in the emotions of grief; often people who have lost a loved one will hold on to their belonging for years, somewhere in the back of the mind thinking they will return one day.

The Metal Element provides us with positive boundaries; with loss where the truth is too hard to face the Metal Element throws up a shield of protection while we process information. The Lungs belong to the Metal Element of Chinese medicine and breathing disorders can be exacerbated at this time.


Wood Element-Anger and Griefliver essential oils

Anger is normal and may be directed at oneself, another, God, or just life in general. This will be a tumultuous period of outbursts that should be experienced in a safe and private setting. Flower essences, meditations, affirmations, essential oils and herbs can all have a healing influence on the Liver and help diffuse anger due to loss.

Worse than expressing anger productively in a safe environment is suppressing the anger. This can lead to other physical and emotional disorders according to Chinese medicine; prolonged anger is destructive causing Liver Qi Stagnation that contributes to many physical illnesses


Water Element-Anguishadrenal support essential oils

Anguish would be indicated with uncontrollable sobbing. When grief is unresolved in a timely manner it can begin to consume Kidney Yin especially if one tries to work through the grief and does not take time off from work to grieve. The unresolved grief becomes a heavy energy that settles in the lower part of the body which is associated with the Kidney energetic system in Chinese medicine. One who has already depleted the nervous system by burning the candle at both ends would be more susceptible to prolonged anguish after loss and adrenal exhaustion. The difference between sadness and anguish is that emotions are suppressed with chronic sadness; with anguish one is in an emotional agony for an on-going, seemingly endless, period of time.


Water Element-Guilt and Griefkidney yang essential oils

Guilt is often based in the fear that you did not do all that you could have done to aid the person who died, to save the business that failed, or to keep the lover who left. Questions of how you could have changed or prevented events that have led up to the grieving process are common. Was it my fault? Could I have done something different? Why didn't I see the signs? This is where the self-worth of the Metal Element converge with the fear aspect of the Water Element. While guilt is normal during grieving, guilt is not a productive emotion to have to live with and can block the progress to personal growth. 


Metal Element-Sadness and Griefmood enhancing essential oils

After passing through shock and denial and as the anger is exhausted, sadness develops. This stage is typically when a person stays inactive and cries for long periods. If one suppresses the outward expression of grief than the Qi is stuffed down into the chest and lungs and cannot circulate correctly. This can result in someone who lives the rest of their life with unresolved sadness and unable to experience emotional feelings, both good and bad. Because the Qi of the chest does not circulate, they become hunched over always looking at the ground as they walk through life. 

Unfortunately, this is also where people seek anti-depressants. Utilizing a pharmaceutical anti-depressant is called for when depression leads to thoughts of depression or destructive behavior. However, utilizing anti-depressant medication for sadness due to grief can be counterproductive because it does mask the emotions rather than productively work through them. 


Earth Element-Bargainingdamp bi remedy with essential oils

This stage can be seen as a move towards acceptance; patients facing poor outcomes may bargain to improve their lifestyle habits to buy more time or reverse the condition. This stage only becomes a problem when one replays the events leading up to and during the loss over-and-over in their minds. One may obsess over what they could have done differently or how they can change things now. Obsessive thinking belongs to the Earth Element and can damage the Spleen energetic organ system of Chinese medicine and lead to Internal Dampness.

Acceptance and Grief

One must acknowledge the loss, and accept life with a new set of circumstances. This is the time when efforts must be made to find new activities, new friends, and new outlets for a new life. This typically only happens when one passes through each stage of grief successfully.


The Grieving Process and Stages of Grief According to Chinese Medicine

Grief typically follows a process of healing that can be somewhat predictable. However, individuals experiences the stages of grief differently and there are no set rule as to the order in which these states of grief occur. In Chinese medicine, it is only when one is unable to move all the way through the grieving process in a timely manner that grief becomes abnormal. Aroma AcupressureChinese herbsmeditation, flower essences, aromatherapy, and affirmations are all natural ways to free any blocks involved with grieving. These remedies will not mask the emotions of grieving, but aid in the natural process of grieving. 

Grief is painful, and can be combined with many other emotions that may seem erratic. The length of time one grieves depends on the severity of the loss; it can be weeks or months for the loss of a job, for example. One study suggests that intense grief due to the loss of a loved one typically peaks at around 4 months and then quickly begins to subside over a two-year period ( If the emotional pain associated with grief does not begin to ease in a matter of months then the person who is grieving is likely stuck in one or more of the states of grief.


Other Correlations for Grief in Chinese Medicine

Water Element-Fear of Dying

The energetic organ system associated with fear is the Kidney. Another indication of Kidney Deficiency combined with a Metal Element imbalance is an irrational feat of death as the Lung and the Kidney energetic organ systems are very closely bound according to Chinese medicine.

Wei Qi and Grief

The Wei Qi is associated with the immune system and it has been shown that prolonged grief can weaken the immune system and make on more vulnerable to chronic disease and acute illnesses.

Stress and Grief

Studies have shown that prolonged grief can evolve into a similar mental state as seen with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). In Chinese medicine this can involve several energetic organ systems typically involving the Heart, Lungs, and Kidney Elemental systems.

Heart and Grief

Recent studies suggest that prolonged grief may contribute to the development of heart disease. (


Growing Beyond Grief

Loss is a normal part of living and all of us experience different types of loss throughout our lives. Learning from the past can help us grow emotionally and spiritually. While loss can be painful, it can also provide us with a life experience that allows for compassion and understanding of other people's plights.

The Experience of Grief

One must actually experience each stage of grief in order to move on with a healthy and happy life. Simply avoiding the process will in effect lengthen the amount of time that is necessary to grieve.

Experience the Pain

Chinese medicine holds that pain of grief must be felt and processed, or it will manifest in to physical diseases and disorders. Grief is part of the Metal element, so many of these symptoms will occur in the organs associated with the Metal Element including the Lungssinusesskin, and Large Intestine.

Forgive Yourself and Others

Forgiveness is a powerful tool of growth. Forgive yourself and others for all the things you think you should have said or done. Even forgive yourself for the anger and guilt you experienced while grieving. In Chinese medicine this is often related to both the Metal Element aspect of the Large Intestine energetic organ system and the Wood Element Liver aspect of forgiveness by resolving anger and Liver congestion.

Take Care of Yourself

It is easy to neglect yourself while grieving. Eating a balanced diet and exercise will help you work through the pain of grief more quickly. Take naps, listen to upbeat music, watch a movie, and indulge yourself in pleasant activities.

Take Active Steps to Create a New Life for Yourself

Give yourself time to grieve, and then look for new life patterns and new things to do. Volunteer, join social groups, join a recreational sports team, learn to paint, or start looking for a new job.



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This information has not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This information is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.